okay pat passed out under dana's car
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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