Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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