i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize