i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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