Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They took my balls.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
