I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
