So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
