and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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