break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
