I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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