She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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