All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I could make wine with my vomit
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
