He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
