She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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