Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Send help, water and tortillas.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
