I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize