great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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