dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
