If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
