She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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