i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
