i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
