Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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