So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
