I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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