he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
