you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
