spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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