a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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