My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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