Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
