he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
