But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She announced her abortion via fbk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Randomize
