i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
