I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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