Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
