your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
its liver damage thursday
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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