Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
