Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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