Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
