Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
