I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
