No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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