I'm really into asian looking animals
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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