i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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