is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Randomize
