You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize