i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
