Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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