remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
