I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
