I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
