Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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