omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
