dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
