So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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