Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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