I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
