Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
