I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
