fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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