You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
that's an acceptable place to lick
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pants are for mortals
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
